Reflections on Becoming a Couple

In just a little over 2  weeks, I will no longer be a single woman.  The long lapse in my posting has been a time when I have been preparing to become a wife.  It doesn't happen quickly....transitioning from being a single woman to being a man's wife.  Sharing my life intimately with someone I love after living single for so many decades.  However, being married is something I have wanted since I was a young girl and  I never gave up hope that it would happen though I didn't know how it would come about.  In many ways, this transition  comes so naturally, though not without a sense of "letting go" of some habits that I have enjoyed.  Fortunately, Clark, my fiancé, and I were raised with similar values and developed some similar habits as single adults.  We were raised as Christians and, although I have lived out my faith in different churches, I have continued to rely on Christian prayer as my primary source of strength and stability.  Clark is the same.  Now, instead of quiet mornings alone, we enjoy beginning the day in prayer together.  I thought I wouldn't like that as I coveted those early morning hours in solitude, but there are ways of being solitary as one couple....  "and the two shall become one."  I was never told that happens gradually. 

Falling in love in our senior years has been the most wonderful experience we can imagine!  We've both had many losses through broken relationships, wrong choices and the deaths of people we cared for.  It was a discovery to find ourselves able to trust each other with our tender, wounded hearts in a way we had been afraid to do for such a long time.  In fact, I was terrified that this gentle man who volunteered  to assist me with my daily needs, would suddenly leave or die.  So, as had been my unhealthy behavior pattern, I did nearly everything I could to push him away.  I could handle rejection, even grief as they were so familiar, but unrelenting love, respect and devotion?   This way of living day to day was something brand new to my experience of life.

One morning, when this shy, gentle man walked into my apartment to begin our daily routine, he said, "You are the most important person in my life!"  I wasn't really surprised...just shocked that he said it.  I wasn't quite sure what he meant.  My response, "Well, you're NOT the most important person in my life," I protested.   Perhaps that was the turning point in our relationship.  I think that was when we both began this amazing transition from being single to becoming a couple.

Some people have suggested that we live together rather than legally marry.  As devout Christians, this is inconsistent with our strongly held belief that marriage is a sacrament.   Also, as some one with cerebral palsy, being married will significantly lessen my vulnerability to the court system having the sole decision as to how and where I would be cared for should I become seriously ill.  Living with a husband will prevent that situation.

On November 13, 2015, Clark proposed and placed a beautiful diamond ring on  my finger.  We will be married on Sunday, June 5, 2016.